Shitty Campaigns & Hilarious Comments on Kickstarter

Over the last few days, I have been scanning Kickstarter for new projects that might be of interest to me. While searching, I have also come across many that have been previously funded or have yet to fund and I have to tell you some are just stupid and funny all at the same time. Let’s talk about the first one, Pencil Dice.

photo-original (1)Pencil Dice by D20 Entertainment was recently successfully funded, but I think the 1300+ backers bought the most absolutely idiotic RPG accessory one could ever buy. First, let me say this, thank God I did not back this crap. Moving on, why would you want your d6 die on a pencil? There are so many issues with rolling pencils.

  • Pencils are never level (go roll a few and you’ll see what I mean)
  • Rolling a pencil will bang into stuff on your table
  • Pencils bounce more than tradition dice
  • You risk cracking the graphite when dropped/rolled making sharpening it hard
  • It has a limited life if you use it as pencil
  • The etchings of names and pips also skew the odds
  • Uneven sharpening and erasing will further skew the odds when rolled

It should also be mentioned that as gamers, many of us don’t want other people touching our dice. So, why would I purchase a product that would promote others to touch my dice?

photo-originalThe next crappy campaign is also by D20 Entertainment, I introduce you to the RPG Pencil Dice. What in the holy hell is this crap? I fully understand that many GMs are low-prep type people; I know because I am one of them! This product really promotes GMs to be even lazier and less creative. I know the counter argument is that random tables are similar in nature. Yes, you’re right, but the biggest difference is that at least random tables give much more in the way of variety and they still promote some type of creativity.

Who wants the reduced Magic 8 Ball? Grab the magic question pencil die and get only half the available response from the real McCoy. Really, do we need this crap at our tables? Well, apparently 337 backers thought they needed these pencils at their tables. There’s a variety of pencils types that were unlocked during the campaign. Some are ok, in the loosest sense of the word, and other just plainly promote a lack of creativity on the part of the GM. The pencils suffer from most, if not all, of the points raised above. I hope the backers get their money’s worth out of it.

photo-original (2)What in the name of all that is holy is Barf Bag: Run for Your Life? This is a real piece of work creative naivety. I have seen better conceptual designs by middle school kids. It appears to be fashioned after the classic roll-and-move mechanic of games like Life and Sorry. That is shitty by itself, but he wants to use recycled game parts that would have to be sourced over time. Honestly, I like the recycling idea, I think it’s novel, but come on, you need a better plan than this piece of crap idea.

Ok, enough about crappy campaigns. Recently a G+ friend posted about the following ridiculous post to backers by the creator of a failed project. It is worth talking about this, why? because the poster is frustrated that he failed to deliver and it highlights how not to talk to your backers. The creator of The Arcanum: 30th Anniversary Edition titled his latest post “GOD FUCKING DAMNIT ALL TO HELL“. He uses such creative and descriptive words! Click the link and go read the ridiculous post he left to his backers about a project-wide refund. Unfortunately, most of the other posts that deal with the projects shortcomings are all backers only posts so I have no ability to read through them. I can only imagine how interesting they are to read.

I’m sorry project failed because of a lack of poor planning on your part, but you don’t speak to your financial supports like this! Bottom line, this is not acceptable in any circles or situations. Now grow up and refund their money like you seem to have been promising them for quite some time.

If you ever see a hilariously stupid project on Kickstarter or Indie Go-Go, tell me about it! I also want to read hilarious comments like the one above. You can email me at rollingboxcarsblog@gmail.com or visit our G+ community and post there if you prefer.

~ Modoc

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